


Living the Game of Time

by barbitone



Series: Voltron Fanfiction [8]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Angry Kissing, Arguments, Canon-Typical Violence, Coda, M/M, Mental Instability, Morally Ambiguous Character, POV Shiro (Voltron), morally ambigious shiro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-05 20:25:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16817830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbitone/pseuds/barbitone
Summary: “It’s getting worse,” Lotor said. “I think it’s time we discuss a more… permanent solution.”“No,” Shiro said. He already had a permanent solution ready and waiting for them, but of course Lotor didn’t know that. No, he was suggesting something entirely different- a dark padded room, a tank of quintessence perpetually pumping into his bloodstream, a dagger to the heart- and Shiro wasn’t going to consider any of it much less discuss it, not now and not ever.[Coda toWaiting for a Different Dawn, set directly after the epilogue]





	Living the Game of Time

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Waiting for a Different Dawn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16183940) by [barbitone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbitone/pseuds/barbitone). 



> This will not make a lick of sense unless you've read [Waiting for a Different Dawn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16183940/chapters/37817831)
> 
> Thank you to my lovely beta [Lutz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lutz/pseuds/lutz)\- your support is hugely appreciated!

* * *

Shiro walked through the corridors towards the imperial chambers, dread filling him as he got closer. The guards posted outside saluted him respectfully and he nodded back, pausing. The doors opened and Dayak stepped out, shutting and locking them firmly behind her.

“High Commander Shiro,” she said with a shallow bow.

“Dayak,” he greeted her. “How is he?”

She couldn’t hold back a wince, glancing over her shoulder nervously. “It isn’t one of his better days. Tomorrow, perhaps, he’ll be well enough to see you.”

“I need to see him today- now.”

She put her hand on his chest, her eyebrows drawing down until a crease formed in the middle of her forehead. “I don’t think that’s wise, High Commander.”

“Unfortunately this can’t wait,” Shiro said, his heart pounding. He’d delayed as long as he could but they were nearly out of time now and he needed to just- get this over with and to hell with the consequences.

“Very well,” Dayak said, standing aside so he could pass. “Be careful.”

“Of course,” he said quietly, steeling himself before he unlocked the door and stepped inside the darkened room.

He ducked by force of habit and that was the only thing that kept the vase from smashing his skull. It sailed over his head to shatter loudly against the door, spilling water and flowers to the ground. The room was a wreck of overturned furniture and pottery shards, bruised and greying petals littering every surface.

Lotor stood in the middle of it all, his chest heaving and his trembling hands clenched into fists at his sides, dressed in just his black jumpsuit and boots. His hair was a wild mess with strands falling into his face and his furious eyes, glowing a bright ominous white.

“You can’t keep me imprisoned here forever,” he snarled.

“Lotor,” Shiro said carefully, raising his hands placatingly. “You’re not a prisoner.”

“If I’m not a prisoner then let me go!” he yelled and Shiro flinched.

“I can’t do that,” he said, trying to keep his voice soothing and calm. “You’re unwell. It isn’t safe.”

“Not safe for you, perhaps,” Lotor hissed, narrowing his eyes.

“Not safe for you, either,” Shiro said. He took a step closer but Lotor flinched away from him so he stopped.

“Let me go,” Lotor said, quieter now like he was pleading with him. “Maybe we can- we can make a bargain. What do you want? Just tell me what you want.”

“I want you to calm down so we can talk,” Shiro said.

Lotor looked down and gradually his breathing slowed, his hands unclenched. Shiro could see the rage fading away and when Lotor looked up again he was calm.

“Alright,” he said quietly. “Of course, I can- we can talk. I’m sorry.”

Shiro stepped forward slowly. “That’s alright.”

Lotor smiled softly but the expression seemed eerie and ominous with the way his eyes were glowing in the gloom.

“Is it alright if I come over to you?” Shiro asked.

“Yes, of course,” Lotor said and Shiro walked towards him carefully, trying to hold back a wince at the crunching of glass under his boots with each step. Lotor stayed perfectly still, watching him intently.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Shiro said, keeping his hands up.

“I know you won’t,” Lotor said, tilting his head to the side. He was still smiling, waiting as Shiro got closer. “You never do, do you?”

“No,” Shiro said, pausing in front of him.

Lotor’s smile twisted into something vicious and he lunged, holding a piece of broken glass clutched in his fist. Shiro had fallen for it the first time, two and a half deca-phoebs ago, had nearly bled out on the floor and still had the jagged scar over his throat to prove it. But he was ready for it now, for what Lotor always did when he felt cornered- pretend to be defeated only to strike when his opponent lowered their guard.

Shiro grabbed him by the wrist and spun with his momentum, trapping his hand behind his back and shoving him forward to slam his chest against the wall.

“Drop it,” he said firmly.

Lotor was breathing harshly as he tried to struggle away. He moved to elbow Shiro in the side with his free arm so Shiro grabbed that too, holding his wrists together with his Sincline hand and putting the other on his upper back to keep him pressed to the wall.

“Fuck you,” Lotor hissed. “Let go of me.”

“No. Drop it.”

“What do you hope to gain from this?” Lotor asked, panting against the wall. “My father won’t pay your ransom. No one will. Kill me or free me- you’ll get nothing else.”

Shiro closed his eyes with a tired sigh. Maybe he should have asked Dayak to stay, Lotor was usually calmer around her. He remembered her most of the time at least. Or maybe he should have had Narti come but she was with the others in the hangar, keeping an eye on their guest.

“Drop it,” Shiro whispered. “Please.”

Lotor’s hand was bleeding where he was clutching the broken shard of glass, if Shiro tried to wrestle it away he’d only get hurt even worse. His body was still thrumming with tension, he was biding his time until Shiro gave him an opening and then he’d attack again.

They didn’t have time for this. Shiro steeled himself and gripped Lotor by the back of the neck, his heart breaking at his terrified gasp.

“ _Drop it_ ,” he growled into Lotor’s ear. “I won’t ask again.”

Lotor shuddered and closed his eyes, finally doing as he was told.

“Good,” Shiro said, letting go of his neck and shifting his grip so he was holding Lotor’s wrists in his human hand. He wrapped his Sincline arm around Lotor’s chest to press his hand against his heart, pushing closer against his back until they were standing in some semblance of an embrace. “That’s very good. I need you to relax for me now."

“What are you going to do?” Lotor whispered. His heart was pounding with fear, his breathing coming labored, but at least he wasn’t struggling anymore.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Shiro said quietly and reached into the quintessence field for what would hopefully be the last time.

Lotor gasped and his body went stiff as the energy poured into him. It was taking more every time, his resulting lucid periods growing shorter and shorter, but it was going to be alright now. It had to be.

He let his arm grow dark and Lotor sagged back against him, his breathing evening out.

“Alright?” Shiro murmured into his ear.

“Yes,” Lotor said quietly. “You can let go of me now.”

“Say my name first, so I know you’re back.”

“Shiro,” he whispered.

“Ok,” Shiro said and let go of his wrists before carefully stepping back. Lotor staggered a little and Shiro took him by the shoulders to steady him. He didn’t turn around, just leaned his forehead against the wall and raised his hand to stare at his bleeding palm. “Come on,” Shiro said quietly. “Let’s go get that taken care of.”

They walked slowly to the bathroom and Lotor sat on the edge of the tub while Shiro closed the door behind them and typed a short command into the panel of his gauntlet. He heard the quiet sounds of servants coming into the main room to start clearing away the mess.

Shiro pulled the medical supplies out of a nearby cabinet before sitting down beside Lotor and cleaning the cut on his hand. It wasn’t as deep as he’d been afraid it would be, and before long he had it clean and bandaged.

“How long has it been?” Lotor asked, staring at his hand in Shiro’s own.

Shiro considered lying to make him feel better, but he always seemed to know the truth anyway. “Two cycles.”

“It’s getting worse,” Lotor said. “I think it’s time we discuss a more… permanent solution.”

“ _No_ ,” Shiro said. He already had a permanent solution ready and waiting for them, but of course Lotor didn’t know that. No, he was suggesting something entirely different- a dark padded room, a tank of quintessence perpetually pumping into his bloodstream, a dagger to the heart- and Shiro wasn’t going to consider any of it much less discuss it, not now and not ever. “We need to get you dressed so we can take a stroll through the ship.”

“I’d rather stay here, with you,” Lotor said with a wry smile. “I want you to take me to bed while I still remember who you are.”

Shiro leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “After, I promise,” he lied. He didn’t think Lotor would want to take him to bed after he did what he was about to. He might not want Shiro ever again. “The soldiers need to see you. There are rumors that I’m trying to usurp your throne. Some even think I’ve already killed you.”  
  
Lotor laughed, the sound brightening the room. “That’s ridiculous.”

Shiro smiled, nudging him in the side with his elbow. “I know. They’re only whispers for now but we need nip them in the bud before they grow into a mutiny. They need to see us together, they need to see that I still serve you.”

“Alright,” Lotor said, standing with a sigh. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and winced, looking away. “Let’s get this over with."

The main room was clean by the time they left the bathroom, fresh flowers arranged on every surface in ornate vases. Shiro helped Lotor into his armor and they shared one more lingering kiss as Shiro tried to burn it into his memory, in case this was the last one. When they stepped out into the corridor it was with Shiro walking a few respectful paces behind Lotor’s right shoulder.

The soldiers outside the room saluted sharply. “Vrepit Sa, Emperor Lotor,” they said as one.

Lotor nodded magnanimously at them and they started their rounds. The went to the bridge first and then made their way onwards, Shiro gently directing them towards the hangar in a way he hoped Lotor didn’t notice. It took forever, but maybe it was Shiro’s rising dread that made it feel that way, and finally they were stepping into the cavernous chamber.

Lotor gasped, his eyes widening as he took in the five Lions arranged in a careful semi-circle within.

“Shiro-” he said and Shiro took his hand, leading him further inside. “Shiro, what did you do?”

“We intercepted a transmission from Earth,” he answered. “Sendak had it under siege, so I destroyed him. The Lions were there, so I took them.” That wasn’t really the full story but Lotor didn’t need to hear it, not yet.

“You killed the Paladins?” Lotor asked, horror creeping into his voice.

“No,” Shiro said firmly. “But I made sure they won’t be troubling us. I destroyed their ships and put the sector under a blockade. No one from Earth will ever leave their solar system again.”

Lotor inhaled sharply, opening his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by an excited shout.

“Lotor!” Ezor called out, sprinting towards him. He staggered back as she barreled into him, wrapping all five of her limbs around him.

“Ezor,” he said with a laugh. “It hasn’t been that long, has it?”

“It’s been _ages_ ,” she whined, rolling her eyes. “Shiro is a slave driver, we haven’t done anything fun in forever. I miss when you were in charge.”

The other three generals came up to greet him at a slower pace, all beaming at him while Shiro watched nervously. In the commotion Lotor hadn’t noticed the ship docked behind the lions much less their visitor emerging from the hold. Shiro caught Acxa’s eye and she nodded subtly before pulling Lotor into a tight embrace and angling him so his back was to their guest, approaching them slowly.

“Narti, Zethrid, Acxa,” Lotor was saying, an impossibly wide grin over his face. Shiro’s heart was pounding, his stomach flipping over with nerves and dread. “Why are you all here?”

“They wanted to be here for this,” Shiro said quietly. “To support you.”

“What?” Lotor asked, and when he turned to look at Shiro his eyes widened as he saw who was standing behind him. He reached for his sword but of course he didn’t have one anymore. “Shiro- what the fuck is she doing here?” he demanded, his hands tightening into fists.

“I’m here to help you, my son,” Honerva said, tilting her head to the side.

Lotor flinched and took a step backward, bumping into Zethrid behind him. Shiro shot her a sharp look and she took Lotor tightly by the upper arms, keeping him from backing away further. He didn’t seem to notice as he stared at his mother. “I don’t want your help,” he spit out. “What are you waiting for, Shiro? Take her to the brig!”

“I asked her to come here,” Shiro said slowly and tried not to shrivel under Lotor’s gaze.

“You’re hurting,” Honerva said. “Let me ease your pain.”

“ _No_ ,” Lotor hissed. “I want nothing to do with you. What the fuck is this, Shiro? What’s going on?”

“Let her help you, Lotor,” Shiro said gently.

“No!” Lotor yelled. “I won’t allow-”

“You had your chance to do things your way,” Shiro interrupted. “Now we’re doing things my way. Zethrid.”

“Shiro- what?” Lotor gasped but Zethrid was forcing him to his knees and holding his hands tight behind his back. He struggled against her, almost ripping himself away, but at Shiro’s signal Ezor and Acxa came closer to hold him by the shoulders, keeping him trapped.

“Shiro- _no_ ,” Lotor said as Honerva stepped closer. “Shiro please,” he tried, “Shiro- don’t do this- don’t let her do this!”

She reached for him but he flinched back. “ _Shiro_!”

“If you expect this to work, you’ll stop him carrying on,” Honerva said coldly. “I need him calm.”

“Lotor,” Shiro said, dropping to his knees in front of him and taking his face in his hands. “I need you to trust me, darling. I need you to calm down.”

“Fuck you,” Lotor snarled. “How _dare_ you- I’ll rip you apart for this-”

“Alright,” Shiro said quietly. “You can do whatever you want to me. Rip me apart, send me away, execute me- anything. After.”

“Shiro- _no_ ,” Lotor said, the anger draining out of him and leaving only panic in its place. “Shiro- don’t let her touch me. Please, I’m begging you- whatever this is, we can’t trust her. Just let me go- let me go and we’ll find another way, _anything_ , we’ll-”

Listening to him beg was ripping Shiro’s heart out, he knew Lotor wouldn’t stoop to it with anyone else. He almost wanted to back out but the damage was already done, he couldn’t do this to him and have nothing to show for it on top of it all.

“We’ve tried everything else,” he said, “there is no other way, only this. I need you to let this happen, darling.”

“ _No_ ,” Lotor snarled.

Shiro pressed a kiss to his forehead and stood. “Narti,” he said, not looking away from Lotor’s glowing white eyes.

“Don’t listen to him,” Lotor said, turning to her now. “Narti- please! After everything we’ve been through together- you can’t do this to me. Please- don’t turn on me like this. _Narti_!”

For a second Narti wavered uncertainly, but then she tightened her lips in determination and pressed her fingers to his shoulder and the desperation on his face faded away to nothing. Somehow that was worse than the broken begging and Shiro swallowed loudly into the sudden silence.

“Very good,” Honerva said and reached for Lotor.

Shiro grabbed her wrist with his Sincline hand, pulling his grip painfully tight in warning. “If this doesn’t work I’ll carve out your heart while it’s still beating,” he said coldly, meaning every word.

Honerva smiled. “It’ll work,” she said. “We made a bargain, did we not? I intend to keep it.”

Shiro exhaled sharply and let her go.

“Don’t be alarmed if he screams,” she said and suddenly Shiro couldn’t breathe. Oh god. What was he doing? But he had to- there was nothing left, no other way.

He was shaking as he watched her press her hand over Lotor’s face. She closed her eyes as her body began glowing with a soft blue light. Lotor jerked, every muscle tensing, and she pushed his head back, exposing the long line of his throat.

And then he started to scream. Shiro pressed his hand to his mouth as he listened to the horrific sound, like something jagged and sharp being ripped out of him. There were tears streaming down Zethrid’s face and Narti collapsed to her knees helplessly, pressing her forehead to his shoulder. She made a terrible sound at the back of her throat like something between a rattling exhale and a whine and Shiro shut his eyes, trying to center himself. He’d done this to him, he’d allowed this. He felt like he was about to pass out.

“How much longer?” Acxa demanded with panic in her eyes and Ezor reached out to take her hand.

“It’s almost over,” she said. “It’s almost over now.”

And then it was.

Shiro’s ears were ringing loudly in the sudden silence as he stared at Lotor’s face. He was looking up at the ceiling with a dazed expression as the white glow drained away and his eyes returned to their familiar purple hue. His _eyes-_ Shiro hadn’t thought he’d ever get to see his eyes again.

The marks on his face weren’t as stark anymore either, his color looked better and the circles under his eyes weren’t as heavy. He looked healthier than he had in deca-phoebs.

“Lotor?” Shiro asked slowly, reaching for him.

“Don’t touch me,” he whispered hoarsely, flinching.

Of course. Shiro pulled back and watched as the generals wrapped Lotor up in their arms, hiding him away from sight. He’d known this would happen, of course he had. He’d known it would hurt, he just didn’t realize how much.

“And now it’s your turn to fulfill your end of our bargain, High Commander,” Honerva said, looking at him.

Shiro jerked a little at her words, he’d almost forgotten she was still here. “Of course,” he said stiffly. “The Black Lion is yours. I doubt you’ll be able to pilot it but I’ll have it loaded into the hold of your ship.”

“You can keep the metal husk,” Honerva scoffed. “I just need one living spark of the beating heart inside. Just one spark should be enough.”

“A spark of what?” Shiro asked as he followed her over to the Black Lion. It was a struggle not to look back at Lotor but he knew the others would take care of him.

“My husband’s soul,” she said and Shiro’s blood ran cold. Zarkon. She was bringing back Zarkon.

She pulled a clear crystal out of her robes and pressed her hand to the claw of the Black Lion. She was glowing again, and then the glow enveloped the ship.

Shiro dropped his hand to the dagger at his belt. He should kill her now, here, before she finished what she was doing. But he couldn’t quite seem to get his body to work right. He just stood there and watched as she took what she wanted, his hands shaking. He'd be a fucking hypocrite to stop her after everything he'd done to get Lotor back.

When she stepped away from the Lion the crystal was glowing and she tucked it carefully away.

“Farewell, for now,” she said with a sly smile and turned to go. Shiro stared as she boarded her ship and left.

“Shiro,” Acxa said quietly. “The zeiforge canon is waiting for your signal.”

“I’ve changed my mind,” he said. “Let her go.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” she asked.

He wasn’t, but he wanted to let her go regardless. “We may need her again. If this doesn’t work we’ll hunt her down and skin her alive.”

“What would be the point,” Zethrid said quietly, cradling Lotor in her arms.

“Is he-?” Shiro asked, not sure how to finish the question.

“I think he passed out,” Ezor said as she gently brushed Lotor’s hair back from his face.

Narti was still on her knees, breathing quickly and jaggedly, her version of crying.

“Are you alright?” Shiro asked gently, putting a hand on her shoulder.

_Hurt._

“I know. But it’s over now.”

_Betrayed._

“We didn’t betray him,” Shiro said firmly. “We- we were helping him. He’s going to be alright now, he’s going to be back.” He was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince her. “Let’s get him to his rooms so he can rest. Zethrid?”

She nodded and stood, holding Lotor carefully to her chest.

“We can’t let anyone see him like this,” Shiro said. “I’ll clear the halls ahead of us, Ezor and Acxa- I need you to guard our backs. Narti- can you handle shutting down the security feeds as we go?”

She nodded, standing too.

“Alright,” Shiro said at last. They’d had the security feed of the hangar turned off for at least a varga now, the Commanders and technicians on the bridge would notice the spreading blackout and they’d put two and two together. There would be rumors, vicious lies about Shiro and what he was doing to their Emperor- betrayal, murder, god only knew what else. But it wouldn’t matter for long, once Lotor was well they’d all fall into line. “Let’s go.”

The soldiers he met flinched back from whatever they saw over his face, clearing the halls as they were told, and before long they were in the imperial chambers and Zethrid was setting Lotor down on the bed. Shiro watched as the four generals stripped him of his armor. The last thing Lotor had said to him was _don’t touch me_ and obeying him in that was the least he could do after the way he’d-

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair restlessly. Narti was taking off her armor too before curling up against Lotor’s side and then the others were following her lead.

“What are you doing, Shiro?” Acxa asked. “Get over here.”

“I don’t think he’ll want me here,” Shiro said slowly. “I was thinking maybe I’d better- leave. For a little while, at least. I’d been meaning to flush out Ranveig anyway. I could take a few fleets, and-”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Acxa interrupted. “You’re not going anywhere. Your place is here, with us.”

Shiro frowned uncertainly but she glared at him and finally he took his armor off too before laying down beside her. She wrapped her arm around him, pulling him over so he could rest his head on her shoulder.

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep but he was so _tired_ , from what he’d done, from everything he’d had to do in the three deca-phoebs before this- and Acxa was so warm beside him, and they were all safe, and-

He opened his eyes sometime later to see the others were all awake now, sitting up as they stared at Lotor in their midst.

His eyes were still purple rather than full of that ominous white glow and that had to mean it had worked. Lately he’d been managing only a few vargas of consciousness before fading away and it had been at least half a quintant by now. Honerva had been telling the truth- she’d really done it, healed him.

Narti was smiling as she stroked Lotor’s cheek and he murmured something to her, too quiet for Shiro to hear. Acxa laughed, bending down to bury her face in his hair as Zethrid patted him firmly on the chest and Ezor grinned, pressing a kiss to his forehead. She was the first to notice Shiro was awake and she pulled back a little, elbowing Zethrid in the side.

“Well, we’d better go back to our own rooms and get some sleep,” she said.

“What?” Zethrid asked in surprise, but then she saw Shiro looking and her eyes widened. “Yes, right,” she said. Ezor took her by the hand and led her away.

Acxa was grinning as she whispered something into Lotor’s ear and then she was rising and leaving. Narti looked happier than Shiro had ever seen her as she pressed herself to Lotor’s side for a long moment and then turned her smile on Shiro and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing a wave of such raw impossible joy through him that Shiro was left fighting to catch his breath.

She left then too and Shiro found himself alone with Lotor and suddenly impossibly afraid.

Lotor sat up and ran a hand through his hair with a wince. When he looked up to meet Shiro’s gaze Shiro wasn’t sure how to decode the expression in his eyes.

“How do you feel?” he asked carefully.

“Terrible,” Lotor said. “Violated. Betrayed.”

Shiro sighed heavily, looking down. “I’m sorry. But- but it worked.”

“ _Fuck_ , Shiro,” Lotor breathed out. “You have no idea what she did to me. You don’t know if it worked or how long it’ll last. But you- you _let_ her-”

“I’m sorry,” Shiro said again. “What was I supposed to do? She- nothing else was helping.”

“I trusted you,” Lotor said quietly.

Suddenly anger coursed through him and Shiro stood from the bed, trying to get his shaking under control. “I trusted _you_ , too,” he bit out. “And then you- you _drugged_ me and ran off to do the one thing you promised not to and almost got yourself killed! I was just cleaning up your mess you- you _fucking_ _asshole_!

“All this time you’ve been making decisions for all of us- moving us around however you want like pieces on a chessboard. Well- now you know how it feels!” Shiro yelled. “Not so great, huh?”

Lotor was scowling at him, an answering fury clouding his eyes, but Shiro found he didn’t care. “At least what I did _worked,_ ” he hissed, knowing he was going too far even before Lotor stiffened and stood to grab the front of his jumpsuit and shove him backwards, slamming him hard against the wall.

“Watch your tone with me,” he said, his voice low and dangerous, and Shiro couldn’t help the sharp thrill that ran through him. Lotor’s hands were strong against him, so much stronger than just the night before. Shiro had the feeling that if Lotor decided to attack him now Shiro may not be able to get the better of him. He grinned darkly, impossibly excited despite himself.

“Or what?” he asked. “What will you do, Lotor? Drug me and run away?”

“Fuck you,” Lotor bit out, tightening his hold and yanking Shiro up to his toes so they were standing eye-to-eye. “You forget yourself, _High Commander_. Maybe you’ve gotten too comfortable around here while I was weak. But I am still the Emperor- _not_ _you_.”

“You’d be _nothing_ without me,” Shiro said and gasped as Lotor yanked him forward a little before slamming him back against the wall again. Shiro laughed, raising his hands to grip Lotor’s wrists tightly. He could probably break out of his hold but he didn’t want to. He wanted Lotor’s rage, wanted his touch no matter how he could get it. “You’d be dead, or trapped in the rift, or god knows where,” he continued harshly. “But I saved you. Over and over again- I _saved_ you! I rebuilt the Galra Empire so I could lay it at your feet, whenever you’re ready to wake up and just fucking _take_ it!”

He broke off, breathing hard as he stared into Lotor’s face. “Don’t act like you wouldn’t have done the same if you were in my position. Don’t pretend like what I did was worse than all the _shit_ you’ve pulled.”

Lotor snarled, revealing his sharp canines, and Shiro flushed with anger and desire as he raised his chin like a challenge. His heart was pounding and his back was slick with sweat. It felt so good to rage back at him, to scream out all the things he’d been thinking for so long but couldn’t say while they’d just been struggling to stay afloat. It felt like poison dripping out of him, like once he let it all out he could be fresh and clean at last. “Well?” he asked slowly. “Anything to add, _Emperor_?”

“I’m awake now,” Lotor gritted out before surging forward to take his mouth in a bruising kiss.

Shiro gasped against his mouth, scrambling to find purchase on his shoulders, his back, feeling dizzy and faint with surprise. He’d expected exile, execution, not Lotor kissing him and ripping his jumpsuit away before shoving him down to the bed.

“Get the oil,” Lotor ordered and Shiro did as he was told, rummaging through the cabinets until he found the small bottle. He looked back to see Lotor peeling his jumpsuit off and for a moment he couldn’t breathe.

They’d had sex in the past three deca-phoebs of course, but it had been fraught every time to say the least. Shiro couldn’t quite bear looking into Lotor’s glowing eyes and yet couldn’t let him out of his sight, needing to know when he was on the verge of fading away or turning on him. The resulting encounters had been tense at best, still better than nothing and yet mere shadows of what they’d had before.

Shiro spread his legs for him in anticipation and was surprised when Lotor straddled his hips and pressed his slick fingers inside himself instead.

“Oh fuck,” Shiro breathed out and then Lotor was sliding down on his cock and throwing his head back with a breathy moan. “Oh-” Shiro gasped as Lotor started to move, bracing his hands on Shiro’s shoulders.

“Oh fuck-” Shiro moaned. “Oh- Lotor. Lotor, please-”

“Shut _up_ ,” Lotor bit out, moving to grab his wrists to pin him to the sheets. “I want you wearing my colors again,” he said between gasps, “no more of your mourning blacks like I’m already dead.”

“Alright,” Shiro said, “anything- anything you want-”

“I want you to _obey_ me,” Lotor said, moving faster now. “If you’re going to be my Commander you’ll do as you’re told.”

“No,” Shiro said with a laugh.

“What do you mean, _no_?” Lotor demanded, stilling.

Shiro laughed again and pulled his hands out of Lotor’s hold so he could take him by the hips and keep thrusting into him.

“I mean _no_ ,” he said, fighting to pay attention despite how amazing Lotor felt around him. “If you want me to stay, we’re in this together now. Do you understand? _Together_. And not just you and me- the others too. All six of us. You might be the Emperor but you’re not alone, not anymore.”

“Fuck,” Lotor bit out at a particularly deep thrust.

“Yeah,” Shiro said, tightening his hands over his hips. “Ah-! Yeah- say you understand. Say it-”

“Yes,” Lotor gasped, dropping his hand to stroke himself as he rolled his hips back to fuck himself on Shiro’s cock. “Yes, alright, I’ll- oh fuck- I’ll- together now. We’re in this together.”

“Yeah,” Shiro said, giddy with happiness. He threw his head back in pleasure, overcome by the heat and the pressure of Lotor around him. This was everything he’d ever wanted, everything he didn’t dare even hope for.

“Lotor-” he gasped out, his hips stuttering out an uneven rhythm.

“Fuck- _Shiro_ ,” Lotor moaned, bending down to press his face against Shiro’s neck. “Yeah, come on- come on-”

“Ah!” Shiro gasped as he came. It was bliss and Lotor was still moving over him relentlessly, looking back at him with his beautiful purple eyes until he was shuddering and spilling over Shiro’s stomach and chest.

He stilled at last before pulling away and collapsing to the sheets beside him. Shiro drew close, putting his left hand over Lotor’s heart.

“What now?” he whispered, waiting for his heart to slow.

“Now?” Lotor asked quietly, moving to run his fingers through Shiro’s hair. “I suppose now we do whatever we want.”

* * *

“How about a spar?” Lotor asked mildly after they’d finished breakfast.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Shiro asked before grinning. “I’m not going to let you win just because you’re the Emperor.”

Lotor scoffed, rolling his eyes. “As if I’d need you to.”

“Alright. We can move the furniture to the sides-”

“Not here,” Lotor interrupted. “On the training deck.”

Shiro wiped his mouth carefully with a napkin before dropping it to his empty plate. “We’d draw a crowd.”

“Good,” Lotor said. “I want them to see- I want them all to see that their Emperor is back.”

Shiro laughed a little, impossibly pleased to see the desire over Lotor’s face, at how furiously _alive_ he was again. “We should go to the arena, then,” he said. “It’s been sitting empty all this time, we may as well get some use out of it.”

“You’re sure?” Lotor asked in surprise. “That won’t bring up bad memories for you?”

“Not if I’m with you,” Shiro said, smiling softly.

Word traveled fast on the ship. All it took was a few soldiers seeing them walking together through the halls in their training gear and by the time they reached the arena the seats were half full with more Galra filtering in with every tick.

“Rules?” Shiro asked with a grin, adjusting the glove over his left hand.

“I think we’re well past _rules_ now, don’t you?” Lotor asked, quirking his eyebrow up. “Anything goes.”

Shiro grinned as he dropped into a fighting stance. “Alright,” he said, feeling giddy with excitement. “Let’s begin.”

_fin._

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at [barbitone](http://barbitone.tumblr.com/) \- NSFW art at [barbitone-afterdark](https://barbitone-afterdark.tumblr.com/)


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